They say a relationship, of any kind, is a “two-way street”. And there’s a psychological theory that suggests that if you put in more effort to make a relationship work than the other person, or vice versa, that relationship will eventually break down. Romantic relationships and friendships, and even family relationships come and go; some people grow apart, some get fed up of trying too much when the other person is doing nothing to maintain their relationship and sometimes other people or extraneous circumstances arise.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to make friendships work, and I always seems to put in more effort than most people. Over the past couple of years I have lost my relationships with the majority of people I worked so hard to maintain. Two of whom I had considered best friends, but it’s funny how once someone has to divide their attention away for whatever reason (in my case it was getting a new job and working full time) people stop caring. Okay, so with one of these relationships there had been several underlying factors that just led to us eventually drifting apart, and that’s okay. But the other seemed to stem from no where and escalated into a mess and I’m not quite sure what happened, just that within a matter of a few weeks we went from talking about everything to not talking at all. Even now I can feel a friendship deteriorating, and I’ve tried but they have evidently just given up.
And now I’m left wondering if it’s something I did, am I the reason that they’re all breaking down? Have they given up on me? Or is it just that now I’m finally putting myself first and I’ve been walked over for most of my life and I’ve had enough?
But if nothing else, at least I can say I was happy to have had these relationships and I was sad to see them go but I’ve grown so much more as a person without them. So the moral of this blog post is that you shouldn’t distress over relationships of any kind breaking down too much, be happy they happened, be sad they’re over and look forward to the new ones you’ll soon form.
Until next time!